dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
