Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
