I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Welp...herpes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
