Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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