mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
