So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i believe in u and ur pee
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
