Heybabeimwearingurpanties
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
