Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
