Sry I called you an 8
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
