i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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