Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
