I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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