Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
