I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize