We're like a lot better than the average bears
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
