She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
