Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize