I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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