I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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