you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
