Whod you bang
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
