For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
