So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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