Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
