I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
