my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
