is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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