I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize