Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
