yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
