It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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