We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize