It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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