Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize