Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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