Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
