Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
