I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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