just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
