Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
