It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
