I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
