Apparently you make a good broom.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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