So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
