I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
