I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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