I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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