i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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