my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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