My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I queefed so loud it echoed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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