Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
