she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
