We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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