PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
