Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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