he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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