told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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