i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
