At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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