Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize