Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
