I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
