Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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