Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
