We won't sleep together?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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