Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
